Calamity James
by Lily Orange
Summary: Ever since Lily took the Marauders to see a musical in the school holidays, James has become fixated with them - and when Professor Dumbledore proposes a ball, James comes up with the suggestion that they perform a musical at it instead of having a band!
1. There's No Business Like Showbusiness

**Calamity James**

By Lily Orange

_Ever since Lily took the Marauders and Isabel to see a musical at the cinema in the school holidays, they have become fixated on them; when Professor Dumbledore announces there is to be a school ball, James comes up with the suggestion that they perform a musical at it instead of having a band..._

_A/N: _I was originally going to use this idea just as a one shot but thought it would probably work better if I separated it out into chapters. I have the first three done and hopefully will have it finished by the end of the week! Please review - it's based on a love I have for the film "Calamity Jane"! Just to let you know, I am in the process of writing a new story (details of which are on my profile) which I'm really excited about :) I have exams and things this half-term so hopefully I should be able to start posting in a couple of weeks, I'm totally engrossed! Please enjoy this in the meantime, it's just a little light-hearted musical-centred story!!

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**Chapter One**

_There's No Business Like Show Business_

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"Mr Potter, please _concentrate_!" Professor Minerva McGonagall yelled impatiently, glaring at a completely distracted James Potter in exasperation. James was completely unaware, tapping out a tune on the desk and singing to himself. Unfortunately, James' singing, which was supposed to be quiet and barely louder than a hum, was really loud and disrupting the seventh year NEWT Transfiguration class.

"_There's no business like show business_..." he sang to himself in a relatively tuneful voice. Sirius Black, who neighboured James on their desk, stuffed his fist into his mouth to prevent him from laughing at his best friend's embarrassing predicament. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, who sat behind, were much the same. Peter was laughing so hard he was face down on the desk, shaking and choking over the muffled guffaws he was emitting. Remus was scarlet, trying to exercise control over his desperate desire to chuckle uncontrollably.

"POTTER!" Professor McGonagall persisted warningly, but still James was ignorant and carried on singing.

"_Like no business I know, everything about it is appealing_..." he continued, this time accompanying it with elaborate hand gestures and a wide grin. Lily Evans, who was sat directly in front of him, had forgotten all about the ginger cat in front of her she was supposed to be changing into a pair of brogues, as the instructions written on the board dictated. Instead she was watching James intently with much amusement, her pale face lit up radiantly with an audacious grin.

"Potter, I will not tell you again..." McGonagall growled menacingly, advancing towards James and Sirius' desk from where she was standing at the front of the classroom, reading the instructions on the spell needed to master the lesson's advanced transfiguration.

"_Everything the traffic will allow, no where could you have that happy feeling, when you aren't stealing that extra bow,_" James caterwhauled, jumping up onto the desk and kicking his parchment notes onto the stone floor of the classroom. His cat, a honey-coloured animal, widened its eyes in alarm as it watched the strange boy clamber onto the desk and increase the volume of his voice, "_there's no people like show people they smile when they are low_!"

"POTTER! GET DOWN FROM THERE THIS INSTANT!" McGonagall bellowed forcefully. Still James carried on, charmingly prancing across the desk singing about show business. The rest of the class were in stitches at James, but Professor McGonagall, who needed the seventh years to have mastered this work by the end of the lesson, was bright red and increasingly fractious. She turned to Sirius Black, who was practically devouring his own hand he was cackling so much and had tears running down his cheeks, and said, "Mr Black, could you perhaps tell me _why _Mr Potter is dancing across the tables singing and does not seem to be heeding my more than reasonable requests to stop?"

"Well, Professor – HA, HA!" Sirius guffawed as James grabbed Professor McGonagall's hand and began to spin her around whilst singing,

"_Let's go on with the shooooow_!"

"Mr Lupin?" she asked, glowering at Remus as James dropped her in her desk chair and began running up and down the aisles in between the desks.

"I'm afraid – Professor – that – James – watched – a – musical – at – a – muggle – cinema – over – the – holiday–" Remus replied, gasping between laughs to get his words out. This caused the members of the class to laugh even more as now they were being simultaneously entertained by James' little show and Remus' trying to explain what was going on.

"Please continue, Lupin, and try to be slightly more coherent," McGonagall scowled, her eyes practically bulging in anger at James' prolonged disruption of her class.

"Sorry – I – can't!" he breathed, before collapsing into what could only be described as giggles and joined Peter faced down on the desk.

"Miss Willoughby? Perhaps you could shed some light on the matter?" the maddened teacher said, turning to stare at Isabel Willoughby, who was sat beside Lily Evans and in front of the completely hysterical Sirius Black, who had now resorted to banging his fists on the table as James span past him singing,

"_The music, the spotlights, the people, the towns..._"

"Well, Professor," Isabel replied, in a slightly more controlled manner than the Marauders, "as Remus said, Lily took us to a muggle thing called the cinema to watch something called a musical over the holiday and ever since then James has been obsessed with musicals and has watched them repeatedly and memorised practically every song included in the ones Lily lent him."

"Why, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said despairingly, "did you allow Mr Potter to watch all these musicals repeatedly?"

"He enjoyed watching them!" Lily said defensively between chortles.

"So what musical is this song from then?" Professor McGonagall asked in defeat, acknowledging the fact that James was not going to stop prancing around the classroom singing any time soon.

"'Annie Get Your Gun'," Isabel answered.

"I love that film!" a voice piped up from the opposite side of the classroom to the Marauders, Lily and Isabel. Everybody turned to stare at the owner of the voice, which turned out to be a very meek Hufflepuff named Adelaide Jones, who rapaciously reddened and buried her face into her notes.

"Do you know if he is going to stop any time soon?" their teacher sighed.

"I think he's nearly finished..." Lily assessed as James did a cartwheel across her desk, causing the cats to jump off in fright as he concurrently sang,

"_Standing out in front on opening nights, smiling as you watch the benches filling, and you see your billing up there in lights..._"

"Yes, definitely nearly finished," Isabel informed McGonagall.

James launched into the final few bars of the song and slowly meandered up to the front of the classroom. When he had completed it, he issued a wide and cheerful grin to the assembled students in the class who had nearly recovered from their laughing attacks and undertook a low bow.

"Thank you, Mr Potter," Professor McGonagall said in a weary voice as he took his seat next to Sirius, who, every time he caught James' eye, was reminded of James' little stage routine and fell about laughing again. "I'll certainly enjoy your presence in detention tonight."

"But Professor!" James ardently protested. "The need to sing the song just overtook me – it keeps happening, it's ever since I watched that musical with Lily and then had this incessant appetite to keep watching them!"

"Miss Evans, I think you need to keep your film collection under wraps and make sure that Mr Potter does not borrow any more of them," Professor McGonagall told Lily sternly. "Now the excitement of that, um, _interesting _performance is over, please regain control of your cats and attempt to transfigure them into a pair of brogues." When the class finally settled down and only Sirius was left laughing to himself, she leaned back in her chair and uttered a sigh of relief.

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I hope you liked it and found it as funny as I visualised it - thanks for reading, please review, I hope you have a brilliant week! I'll just post the next two chapters and then hopefully will be able to post the others by the end of the week. Love and hugs,

:) x Lily Orange x (:


	2. Greased Lightning In The Windy City

**Calamity James**

By Lily Orange

_Ever since Lily took the Marauders and Isabel to see a musical at the cinema in the school holidays, they have become fixated on them; when Professor Dumbledore announces there is to be a school ball, James comes up with the suggestion that they perform a musical at it instead of having a band..._

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**Chapter 2**

_Greased Lightning In The Windy City_

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James and Lily wandered into the Gryffindor Common Room that evening to find Remus reading a book that he had sneaked off the shelf beside the fireplace on which Isabel kept her books so that she didn't keep forgetting to bring them with her every term, Peter playing Exploding Snap with Sirius, who was playing rather half-heartedly as he was discussing with Isabel what concerts they were going to go to when they had graduated from Hogwarts in the summer.

"Hey, how's my favourite Head Boy?" Sirius greeted James fervently, slapping him on the back.

"Well, he managed not the burst into song during our meeting with Dumbledore, but I'm afraid to say that he's mid-song right now and won't pay attention to you until he's finished," Lily warned them, taking her usual seat in the armchair adjacent to Isabel's in front of the fire.

"So why is he not making any noise?" Sirius asked inquisitively as he watched James walk around the common room, his mouth moving energetically but no sound escaping it.

"I cast a silencing charm on him," Lily confessed, grabbing a wayward copy of the _Daily Prophet _off the table behind her chair and opening it to the wizarding celebrity columns inside.

"Why on earth did you do that and deprive us of his talent?" Sirius asked, his eyes glinting mischievously as he pointed his wand in James' direction and shouted, "SONORUS!"

Suddenly, James' voice was back and it was magnified to about ten times its usual volume. Everybody in the common room looked bewildered when they saw James leaping over chairs and sliding under tables as he sang,

"_Go greased lightning, you're burning up the quarter mile! Go greased lighting you're coasting through the heat lap trial! You are supreme – the chicks'll scream for GREASED LIGHTNING!"_

"Dear Merlin," Lily cursed, banging her head against the arm of the chair repeatedly as everybody else clapped along, entertained by James, some of them for the second time that day. "And we had an announcement to make!" she added, remembering the Head Boy and Girl meeting they had just had with Professor Dumbledore.

James leaped up onto one of the tables scattered around the common room and danced as if he was playing an electric guitar whilst yelling, "_Lightning, lightning, lightning! Lightning, lightning, lightning! LIGHTNIIIIIIING!_"

When he was finally finished – Lily thanked Merlin for the end of the song – he took a quick bow and launched himself onto the sofa which Isabel and Sirius were already sitting on and lay across their laps, smiling sweetly at Lily.

"So, we have an announcement to make, don't we Lily?" he grinned.

"Yes, and I wanted to make it as soon as we got in, but no, you had to run about singing songs from 'Grease' – I wouldn't have taken you to see it if I'd've known what would happen!" Lily moaned. "You're obsessed with musicals!"

"It's good to have interests!" James protested innocently whilst Isabel whimpered as he was leaning most of his weight on her.

"Anyway, let's forget about James' temporary insanity issues and announce our, um, announcement. We were just in a meeting with Professor Dumbledore and he wants to hold a Summer Ball in two weeks time, but he thought it might be slightly more interesting if instead of a band, we provide some alternate form of entertainment," Lily began. "I thought of a circus, but James, ever the mastermind, begged that we did a _musical _instead. Which Dumbledore accepted."

"Yippeee!" James cheered. Everybody turned to stare at him wearily.

"Does this mean we'll have to play the parts?" Isabel asked nervously.

"Oh boy yes!" James gabbled. "And I've had an idea of which musical we could do!"

"Dear Merlin," Lily repeated, this time choosing to deposit her head in her lap instead of banging it on the table, which, unsurprisingly, had hurt quite a lot.

"Let me guess... is it a self-penned musical entitled, 'Sirius Black the Sexy Beast'?" Sirius suggested, grinning obnoxiously.

"Who would waste valuable time writing that?" Remus quipped – and soon had a scarlet velvet cushion in his face, courtesy of Sirius.

"Andrew Loyal Webby, that's who," Sirius replied, sticking his tongue out childishly.

"I think you mean Andrew Lloyd Webber," Isabel pointed out, but quickly silenced herself when Sirius gave her a murderous glare.

"Anyway – we're going to do... _Calamity Jane_!" James clapped his hands together animatedly. "I've learned all the songs so it's going to be really easy, you just need to be given your parts!"

James delved into his pocket and produced six scripts.

"Are we doing an abridged version?" Remus asked, as he was handed a single sheet of paper, as was Peter.

"No – but you don't have any lines," James shrugged.

"Er, why?" Remus questioned, trying to work out what part he was by the stage directions on his script.

"Because you're playing the front end of the horse, and Peter is the back," James answered, before turning to Sirius and Isabel to hand them their parts.

"WHAT?" Remus shrieked, and James looked at him impatiently.

"Actors, never satisfied," he said sadly, ignoring every single one of Remus' protestations at the part given to him.

"BUT YOU'RE MAKING ME BE A HORSE!"

"Shut up, Moony," Sirius grinned cheekily as James handed him his script, which was an inch thick.

"You're going to be Karl Brown, an actor just blown in from Chicago–"

"What's Chicago?" Peter slowly asked.

"_Boys... Chicagee's the biggest noise in Illinois..._" James began, a huge grin forming on his face, whilst an irritated look formed on Lily's face simultaneously.

"No, James, don't!" she warned, but James was impervious to what she was saying and leaped up to a standing position, with his hands on his hips.

"_I just blew in from the windy city, the windy city is mighty purdy but they ain't got what we got, no siree!_" he sang tunefully, stepping up onto the table and dancing as if in a cabaret act.

"_They got shacks up to seven stories, never seen any more the glories, but a step from our doorway, we got 'em for free!_"

"What's James doing now?" a fifth year boy named Charlie Tanner asked in perplexity.

"Being incredibly idiotic," Lily answered as Sirius began clapping and cheering his best friend, who was stepping between all the tables, narrowly missing students' freshly-written essays and textbooks and almost knocking over a bottle of ink as he launched himself upwards to the chandelier and began to swing on it.

"_I heard claim hundreds came, to a thing they call a baseball game..._"

Practically everybody in the common room turned to Lily and concurrently quizzed, "What's a baseball game?"

"It's a muggle thing," Lily answered wearily, leaning back in her chair. However, her peace didn't last long as she would have wished it to because James had evidently decided, for his big finale, he was going to lean over Lily and sing the last few lines to her.

"_I ain't 'a swapping half of Deadwood for the whole of Illinois_!" he finished up, and jumped into the seat beside Lily.

"So... who wants to know their parts?" he concluded, and Lily hit him forcefully on the arm with her own script.

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Thanks for reading! I hope you're finding it funny and not stupid - please if you have the time leave a review! Thank you,

:) x Lily Orange x (:


	3. Bless Yore Beautiful Hide

**Calamity James**

By Lily Orange

_Ever since Lily took the Marauders and Isabel to see a musical at the cinema in the school holidays, they have become fixated on them; when Professor Dumbledore announces there is to be a school ball, James comes up with the suggestion that they perform a musical at it instead of having a band..._

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**Chapter Three**

_Bless Yore Beautiful Hide_

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"James – so let me get this straight," Isabel said in confusion as she, Sirius and their musical-mad friend walked down the corridor to their Defence Against The Dark Arts classroom. "You've changed the plot of the musical _slightly_ – in the sense that Calamity Jane is no longer a Jane – she's a he?"

"Yes, we're renaming it _Calamity James_!" he replied as Isabel and Sirius exchanged bewildered looks.

"So who is playing the part of Wild Bill?" Isabel questioned – she knew a bit about musicals as she and Lily had watched their fair share at her house over the years, as Isabel's family, seeing as they were purebloods, didn't have a television.

"Well, Lily, but Wild Bill is now a woman called Wild Belinda!" James said excitedly. "I thought I'd put a spin on it, because, in my role as leading actor, cowboy extraordinaire and superb director, that's what we do!"

Sirius peered over the top of James' head and shared a look with Isabel that quite clearly said "Oh-my-Merlin-my-best-friend-is-a-strange-and-weird-maniac". She nodded and they carried on walking, until Sirius stopped abruptly, something else having come to mind.

"So – am I not playing Danny Gilmartin then?" he questioned in confusion.

"See, this is the genius part!" James said, putting his arm around Sirius' shoulder and leading him forward. "You're going to be Karl Brown, an actress from _Chicagee_," he began, putting on a really bad American accent that he'd attempted to copy from Doris Day – and not accurately. Sirius had a bit of a thing for Doris Day (to say the least) so was not pleased with this weird representation of her voice.

"Do not _ever _do that again," Sirius said slowly and clearly to allow his best friend to comprehend.

James shook his head, and continued nonetheless, in his accent that, to be honest, sounded like a bird squawking as it rolled down a hill, nothing like Doris' voice, "Karl Brown, an actor from _Chicagee_, and Isabel is going to play Danielle Martin, the girl you fall in love with!" Both Sirius and Isabel quickly blushed at the thought of this as they had been best friends since... _forever_. They looked at James, quizzical looks lacing their features.

"Don't look at me like that, you'll love it really – aw, look, it's Lily!" he exclaimed, his attention now firmly supplanted from the issue of changing the gender of all the parts in the musical to the object of his undying affections.

Lily heard him and looked around to see Isabel and Sirius standing still, both looking shocked out of their minds, and James bounding towards her with a gleeful expression on his handsome face.

"Lily, I do love you, you know! I love you so much, in fact... _bless your beautiful hide, bless your beautiful hide, bless your beautiful hide, wherever you may be_!" he began to croon, walking in circles around the rapidly flushing Lily and attracting students passing by en route to their classes to stop and watch what was happening.

"James, do not start this again!" Lily warned. "Anyway, are you trying to say I have a nice arse? Because that's what hide means!" she shrieked shrilly. James was oblivious.

"_We ain't met yet, but I'm 'a willing to bet, you're the gal for me_!" he carried on, unaware of all the students who had formed a circle round him and Lily at the junction in the corridors and were now quite late for their classes.

"James – stop it, people are staring!" she hissed in discomfiture, but to no avail, James was firmly planted in the land of musicals and there was no impeding him until he had finished his number.

"_Bless your beautiful hide, you're just as good as lost. I don't know your name but I'm a-stakin' my claim, lest your eyes is crossed_!" he chanted loudly, stopping his routine of circling Lily while he sang and now kneeling in front of her with a comical cross-eyed expression on his face. Lily would have laughed till she had tears rolling down her face if it weren't for the fact she was completely mortified. However – the students watching were completely captivated by the strange sight going on before them.

One second-year Ravenclaw whispered to her friend, "Is James on drugs?"

A first-year Gryffindor was watching intently until the cross-eyed expression and she seemed to find it harrowing rather than uproarious and ran screaming, pushing through the assembled crowd as if she was being followed by a Chimaera.

A fifth-year Hufflepuff was catcalling as James took Lily's hand and lifted himself back up to continue singing. "_Oh, I'd swap my gun 'n' I'd swap my mule, tho' whoever took it would be one big fool, or pay your way thru cookin' school, if 'n you would say I do. Bless your beautiful hide; prepare to bend your knee, and take that vow, 'cause I'm tellin' you now, you're the gal for me_!"

"James!" Lily pleaded for him to stop – it wasn't the first time he had serenaded her, even before this musical rampage he had started on, but he had never lasted so long, he normally began to laugh halfway through. Lily had to admit this was funny but as it so obviously involved her she was kind of humiliated, though in a strange way, she felt kind of happy that James had chosen to sing to her.

James let go of Lily's hand and began to walk around the edge of the crowd, examining different girls who were right at the front. "_Pretty and trim but kinda slim, heavenly eyes but oh that size, she's gotta be right to be the bride for me_!"

"What is going on here?" a piercing voice sounded from behind the assembled crowd. "Why precisely are you not all in lessons?" All the students turned to see who it was, just as James was dancing quite expertly around Lily, who was trying hard not to suppress a giggle. Through the crowd emerged an irate Professor Griffin, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. He frowned when he saw James in the middle of his jig. "I thought it might be you, Mr Potter. Professor McGonagall warned me yesterday that you were acting... _strangely_. Can you please stop it now and proceed to your lessons? _All of you_?"

His menacing facial expression convinced all the students to move on but did not put an end to James' singing.

"Mr Potter!" he yelled impatiently as James took Lily's hand once more and looked deep into her emerald eyes before singing the last few lines of the song.

"_Bless her beautiful hide, wherever she may be! Bless your beautiful hide, wherever you may be! We ain't met yet but I'm a willin' to bet you're the gal for me_!" he finished, and then proceeded to grin bashfully at the blushing Lily in front of him.

"Thank you, Mr Potter, for being so _romantic _but please get to your lesson. You too, Miss Evans, Mr Black and Miss Willoughby," he said deprecatingly, watching the teenagers sprint off to their next class.

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_Song to this chapter was from a cracking musical called _Seven Brides for Seven Brothers_ - I hope you're finding singing James as cute as I am ;) thanks for reading, please review!_

:) x Lily Orange x (:


	4. Doin' What Comes Naturally

**Calamity James**

By Lily Orange

_Ever since Lily took the Marauders and Isabel to see a musical at the cinema in the school holidays, they have become fixated on them; when Professor Dumbledore announces there is to be a school ball, James comes up with the suggestion that they perform a musical at it instead of having a band..._

_A/N: _Wow, thanks for the amazing response to the first 3 chapters! Thank you toBramble Icedancer, Sam-EvansBlue, Tabithatibi (thank you so much for the multiple reviews!), Stephie Cat-Kat, sarlovesoccer, chariots99, vampire-luver101 and mica259 for reviewing; thank you to dearmanica, mica259, nikegirl0329, sarlovesoccer, Stephie Cat-Kat and Tabithatibi for adding my story to your favourites and thank you to mica259, Tabithatibi, Stephie Kat-Cat, Sam-EvansBlue and nikegirl0329 for adding my story to your alerts! I hope you like this chapter!

And I have my new multi-chaptered story up! I've posted the first two chapters, it's called **Bad Romance **and is a Sirius & OC & Regulus story - basically a love triangle! Please check it out, it's my new baby haha just like **You Leave Me Breathless **was, and there's a poll on my profile as to the outcome of it! PLEASE give it a try and give it a review, I'd love it if you did :)

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**Chapter Four**

_Doin' What Comes Naturally_

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James had his fellow Marauders, plus Lily and Isabel, assembled in the Room of Requirement for their first rehearsal so that they could perform their musical at the ball, which was in one week. Remus had begrudgingly agreed to come along – he still wasn't happy about the part he had been assigned by James – and was sat on a cushioned red velvet sofa, clutching his piece of paper which outlined the stage directions he needed to do. Though, as far as he could see, he was not doing what he was supposed to.

And what was he supposed to be doing?

Being James' horse, with Peter. He couldn't be _Lily_'s horse, or Isabel's – who were both very light – but no, he had to be _James' _horse, six foot two, broad-shouldered, muscular, Quidditch-playing James who probably weighed as much as an elephant.

Give or take a few pounds.

"So, I think we should have our first read-through!" James said theatrically, flipping over the first page of his script and saying in a very strange voice, "'Oh, Wild Belinda, I do love you, you know'!"

"This isn't the right storyline, James," Isabel interrupted. James sighed impatiently and looked at her pointedly.

"Don't interrupt a read through, Isabel, it's very bad manners," he rebuked her.

"James, it's not the right story! Calamity Jane, or rather, _James_, is supposedly in love with Daniella Gilmartin!" Lily said. Of course, he didn't snap at Lily, the divine object of his affections.

"I know, but this is another twist. I rewrote the script... _surprise_!" he said gleefully.

"The other story was better," Isabel hissed, turning back to her script.

"Pardon?" he asked serenely.

"Nothing," she said innocently and Sirius started to laugh uncontrollably, much like the other morning when James had been singing in class. Now, however, he was absent of humour and taking his job as director of the musical they would be putting on for the ball's entertainment _very_ seriously.

"That's what I thought, now, shall I continue?" he questioned his actors irritably. They all nodded meekly and he turned back to his script. "Ah, Lily, it's you now!"

"Fine – 'Calamity James, I loved you since the first moment I met you. You are my ideal man – you just scream masculinity–' James, I am _not _reading this!" Lily protested, blushing copiously.

"Just forget there's other people there – it's just me, you, our trusty horse" – he patted Remus' head affectionately, and Remus scowled – "and the Deadwood City."

"'You are my ideal man,'" Lily continued, "'you just scream masculinity, with your windswept messy yet sexy black hair, your sparkling hazel eyes that mirror what I desire in life, your Quidditch-honed muscles' – hang on, they didn't have Quidditch in _Calamity Jane_, or _James_, or whatever," Lily said apprehensively.

"Lily, please continue, you were doing so well!" James persisted.

"No! James, it's like you've written some soppy romance between us for the stage! I won't do it!" she refused. "How am I supposed to act it?"

"How am I supposed to act being a horse?" Remus added.

"I like being the horse," Peter said in defence and James grinned at him gratefully.

"See, an actor who is not _demanding_," James said, staring at each of them in turn.

"Well, I don't see how I could act as being in love with Sirius, as we are not in love with each other!" Isabel glowered at him. He was taking his musical-infatuation a little too far now – he had basically written a Hogwarts love story between him and Lily, but had placed it in Deadwood City and added a horse.

A horse he had cast two of his fellow Marauders as.

"You don't know how to act? Well, you just have to do what comes naturally..." James said, standing up and opening his mouth wide, "_folks are dumb, where I come from, they ain't had any learnin'! Still they're happy as can be, doin' what comes naturally!_"

"No, Prongs – CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Sirius hollered, grabbing James' shoulders and shaking him so vigorously Lily was slightly concerned his brains might turn into a milkshake.

"_Folks like us never fuss, with schools and books and learning_," James continue, loosening himself from Sirius' grip and stepping around the room rhythmically, kicking his legs out at random intervals with a big grin, "_still we've gone from A to Z, doin' what comes naturally_!"

"I'm getting rather sick of this," Lily said despairingly as James stepped towards the door of the Room, his script discarded on the floor.

"_You don't have to know how to read or write when you're out with a feller in the pale moonlight, you don't have to look in a book to find out what he thinks of the moon or what is on his mind_," he sang pleasantly, before jumping up in the air and yelling, in a rather gravelly tone, "_THAT COMES NATURALLY_!"

He merrily flung open the door and carried on crooning his song as his friends leaped out of their seats to try and prohibit him from going out into the corridor, but unfortunately – he just couldn't be contained.

"_Cousin Ben got angry when they caught him stealing chickens – I'm within my rights as he, doin' what comes naturally_!" he sang as he swung off the tapestry opposite the doors of the Room of Requirement, and Sirius failed to catch him as he skipped down the corridor, his voice getting more and more vociferous by the second.

"_Sister Sal who's musical has never had a lesson, still she's learned to sing off-key, doin' what comes naturally_!" he yelled, skidding to a stop at a junction in the corridor. This brought back strong déjà vu for the rest of his friends as other students came into view.

"We are _so _sorry – we thought he could be contained!" Sirius apologised to them, before practically launching himself at his best friend who suddenly changed direction and left Sirius to crash onto the floor. Isabel started chuckling at him, so he proceeded to try and chase her whilst James joyously continued.

"_My Uncle out in Texas, can't even write his name! He signs his cheques with x's, but they cash 'em just the same! Grandpa Dick was always sick but never saw a doctor, he just died at ninety-three, doin' what comes naturally!_"

"I thought he may just have stopped his by now," Remus said exasperatedly as they pursued him down a corridor, James nimbly dancing forward and sliding down the banister of the stairs, out of their reach, intending for a big finale to his song.

"_DOIN' WHAT COMES NAAAAATURAAALLYYYYYY_!" James howled, and students rushed through the corridors to see what the commotion on the stairs was. They were greeted with the sight of James Potter finishing yet another song and his friends sneaking up behind him, with what looked to be a suspiciously large fishing net, and swooped it down over his head.

"YES! CAUGHT HIM!" Sirius caterwauled in happiness and did his own little dance around the confused James, who wondered why his friends had encased him in a fishing net.

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_Hope you liked it and found it amusing! Thanks for reading - the song was from Annie Get Your Gun - please leave a review and check out_ **Bad Romance**_!_

:) x Lily Orange x (:


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